The ubiquitous introductory post.

This is not a blog about politics. This is not a blog about celebrities. This is not a blog about sports. This does not guarantee that I won't mention politics, celebrities or sports at any time, because I have some unusual political opinions, I hate Paris Hilton and I love soccer.
About the author: I'm a contradiction. I say I hate Facebook, but what's the first website I log onto when I get on the computer? Sure ain't Myspace. I'm bad at video games, but I joined the video game club at my university last Friday. I advocate healthful eating, but I live on candy, soda, coffee, granola bars and Instant Lunch. Or I would if my boyfriend didn't cook for me.
I'm between jobs and it sucks. I tried to apply for food stamps but apparently since I'm still "dependent" on my parents (which is a lie, I live with my boyfriend and my parents can barely support themselves and my brother, let alone a 19 year old girl who doesn't know the value of a dollar yet) I'm not allowed to receive them on my own.
I'm going to tell you right now, this blog is not family-friendly. I tend to rant about things that piss me off, using very strong language. Sure, I go to church and everything, but I'm not some goody-two-shoes Bible-hugger. I'm also very open about sex and sexuality. I'll try not to overshare but I think Americans are much too uptight about sex, especially sex that isn't one man, one woman, missionary position, for the purpose of procreation.
I am not some emo kid who's going to constantly whine about everything that pisses me off. Nor am I some happy-go-lucky girl who's going to write about unicorns and rainbows and OMG TWILIGHT!!! I take depression meds, but I'm typically a fairly happy person, just kind of unmotivated and a little cynical.
I am not politically correct, at least, not all the time. I don't use racial slurs or hate speech because I just don't hate people, but I will use words like slut, whore, dumbass, douchebag, ghetto, emo, ditz, bimbo, right-wing nutjob... I usually don't mean half of what I say. I'm still growing out of teen angst. Bear with me.
I also make horrible puns. I mean, BAD. Fair warning.
I have an extremely high IQ and an embarrassingly low GPA. I also have little knowledge of the way the world works. I've never had a "real" job, only a stupid work study thing that I got fired from because I thought it was a waste of my time so I didn't go. I've never had sexual intercourse, gotten drunk, smoked a cigarette or done drugs. That doesn't mean I'm against those things, I just have very little life experience.

Leave this blog and don't bother reading it again if:

• You love insects/other arthropods and don't like people who are phobic of them and wish they would all just go away forever.
• You hate women, poor people, people who believe in a God or gods, Hispanics, people with ADD, overweight/obese people, or "nerds". I am all of those except Hispanic and overweight, but I plan to work with Spanish-speaking immigrants in my future career, and many people in my life have weight struggles, so if you plan to flame me or the people in my life, fuck off.
• You think I'd make a hot date. While being appreciated for my personality and writing rather than my looks would be a huge boost for my fragile ego, I am not open to offers of meeting IRL, dating, casual sex or impromptu marriage. I have a boyfriend named Adam who I love very much and just might marry someday.
• You're easily offended. Like I said, I assume that swearing and "non-PC" speech that ISN'T hate speech or a slur are covered by the First Amendment, so I will write what's on my mind. If it hurts your feelings, tough shit. I can't please everyone.

Even though I'm a university student, this won't be a typical college student blog. It won't be filled with strong political opinions, subliminal ads for PETA, or stories that start with "Dude, I was soooo wasted last night..." I don't think of myself as a "college student." I think of myself as a human being who happens to take classes at a university.
And finally, I am an internet junkie, so I know a troll when I see one. If you post a comment that says something like "Get back in the kitchen bitch", I will respond with "LOL k, what do you want on your sandwich?" because I've seen it all before. And no, you will never see my tits.

Yeah, so, glad that's out of the way. Tomorrow, or whenever I post next (did I mention I'm very sporadic about things like this?) I'll talk about something that's actually kind of interesting. Maybe.